I don't know if this is the right spot for this post..... but first the standard disclaimer:

****This is pretty much a vent, with some specific questions included. I would like to hear about your personal experiences, be they good or bad. Please no judgement, no advice, no derailling. Just tell me how it is for you.****

How 'hands on' is your DH/DP/DF as a father? Does he relieve you from duty as soon as he gets home from work, or does he fart a** around for hours first?

When he comes home in a bad mood, or after a hard day and you've also had a hard day at home - Does he a) still carry out all usual daddy duties as normal. b) have a bit of a hissy fit but then carry on with daddy duty as normal. c) Not even notice or ask how your day was, completely ignore the fact that there is a baby in the house, except to complain and swear about the amount of crying said baby is doing while simultaneously ignoring the stressed out look on your face and crazed look in your eye?

When you feel like you just can't go on another second patting, rocking and soothing in the middle of the night.............. do you feel like you can ask for help and actually get it? Does he even wake up when you speak to him?

Does he take initiative to do the obvious things? Like give the baby some food, milk, a bath, or do you have to ask him to do it. Every day.??

Does he ever make you feel guilty for taking a break, eg complaining about never getting a sleep in because he works 6 days, but then never acknowledging that you have broken sleep every single night. For infinity. !@#$%^&*

How does he respond to the child crying when he's having a 'power nap'? Does he hear the crying at all? Does he just roll over and ignore it even though you've been struggling for hours? Does he even realise what's happening around him?


Ok so it's pretty obvious where I'm going with this one. DP's behaviour in the parenting/supporting me department is on the downslide. Bigtime. He gets up really early for work, but then instead of having a quick nap when he gets home at lunchtime, he plays the xbox, or watches cricket or whatever..... then crashes right when I need him most. DS is at his worst in the late afternoon/early evening. And he just keeps screwing me by dropping his responsibilities!

This is the second time in 3 days he's done this. Just crashed out and left everything to me. Every time he does this he says "oh, sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep" Yeah. No problem. The worst part, is that DS now relies on Daddy to put him to sleep, and when I am all there is... he goes berserk. It's so spirit-crushing.

I think I'm most upset that he says one thing, and does another. He acts like he feels bad that I had to do it all, but the next time he's tired, or pi**ed off or some other negative emotion, that's it. He checks out, and I feel like a single parent. I sure wish I could just eff off and not have to think about anyone elses needs when I'm having a bad day. But instead, when I'm having a bad day, I get more crap thrown at me just to make it worse.

Am I the only one who feels like this? The reason I'm asking these questions is because having been raised by only my mother, I have no idea what a Dad/Mum/Baby family should look like from the inside. I'm about 99% sure it isn't this, though!